Taking Sides
by MonstersInside
Summary: Following from FMN. Hodges finds Sara in the breakroom and takes the opportunity to give her his two cents on the Grissom situation, "the man's a many layered thing, like an onion." "Are you comparing my husband to a vegetable?" Light chat turns to serious talk as Hodges confesses his worries about his marriage, Sara finds that helping him, helps her with her own marital situation.


A/N: Just a little one-shot I had to get out of my system...Not entirely sure why it was in my system in the first place but there you go. I wanted the scene between Sara and Hodges to be resolved, even a little bit, but they didn't have any more contact in the episode so you can all have my take on it now.

**Taking Sides:**

"Hey..." Hodges murmured, casually strolling into the breakroom to find Sara sitting alone, nursing the lukewarm cup of coffee between her hands, seconds after hunger and hungry dogs had forced Nick and Greg to leave.

"Oh, I'm still worthy to be spoken to even though I'm officially a Grissom free zone?" she asked airilry, watching him over the rim of her own mug as he went to the coffee pot to fetch himself one.

"I never...That wasn't why I spoke to you before. I...I value your friendship with or without him..." he stammered, missing the slight grin she had hidden behind her cup. They had not seen one another since he had barred her from his lab earlier in the day, before he had known that she and Grissom had separated and had been forced to contemplate and consider the awful possibility that she had been cheating on him.

"Really? I didn't exactly get that impression earlier when you were barring me from your lab." she said, unnervingly appearing to read his mind.

"I told you, that was for practical reasons, purely professional, I didn't want to compromise you, to compromise the investigation."

"You know Hodges; I've had a lot of practice over the last few months of people making realistic 'practical' excuses for not wanting to deal with some very private matters. As the expert between us, let me inform you that you officially suck at it..." she told him, eyes dancing as he awkwardly buried himself in his mug before answering,

"I, well I, OK, I'll admit, maybe a little part-"she raised her eyebrows at him, "OK maybe a big part of me was upset with the idea of you cheating on Grissom."

"Not God?" she teased,

"What? No, I...Grissom and I were always close, I count myself lucky to have been one of the few individuals around here who understood the man's many layered and deeply complex personality."

"Really? More than his wife and the colleagues he worked with for almost a decade, often for more than twenty four hours at a time?" she asked, incredulously, concealing a smirk behind her coffee cup.

"You shouldn't be too hard on yourself Sara; the man was an onion, many layers, each one harder to pull back than the last."

"Are you calling my husband a vegetable?"

"No, I'm _comparing _your husband to a vegetable, and I thought he wasn't your husband anymore..."

She froze for a second and he almost burst out an apology, realising that this was one of the many, many cases in which he should have firmly inserted his foot into his mouth, but had enough sense to know that this would make matters worse and simply had to wait for her to reply softly, in a flat voice,

"No, no he's not...I didn't cheat on him Hodges..."

"That's not why I. I know that, I know that you wouldn't. That's why I was so upset with you, because it was so out of character, _would have_ been so out of character I, I'm sorry."

"Excuse me? Did David Hodges just apologise to me?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips again as she realised she should have done this _far _sooner.

"Of course, I was wrong, I apologise, you would never have cheated on anyone, least of all Grissom, I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Apology accepted..."

"I'm also sorry about the two of you, breaking up. That sucks."

"Yes, yes it does..."

"You know, when Wendy left the lab I, I didn't really know what to do with myself...It felt as though I had lost myself, I didn't know who I was anymore or what I was supposed to do but the lab rallied around me, they helped me out and I ended up being much closer to everyone in here...They'll rally around you too Sara, we all will..."

"Thank you, Hodges..."

"You thought that I would be firmly on Team Grissom?"

"I don't know, I think most people probably expected it. I had hoped that you wouldn't take sides, I hoped that for everyone here...I don't know much about him anymore but I know that neither of us want that...But if I was honest, yes, I expected most people to paint me out as the villain in this..."

"You know we've always, you and me, we've always had a funny old relationship, though I think you probably tolerated me more than most people around here-" she opened her mouth to protest, "No, no, let me finish, please. It's true, I was never that well-liked, I clung to Grissom because he embodied everything that I wanted to be in this place, in general really, and while I still miss him, I understand that there are other people in this lab that I've grown close to, that I would like to be closer with...I consider you as a friend Sara, whether it's a mutual relationship or not, I don't want to lose that because of Grissom, especially not when I can have both of you..."

"I didn't know you felt that way..."

"I too am a complex thing Sara, and, much like Grissom, I do liken myself to vegetables, most aptly, the humble potato, never the most elegant, or the most interesting but always there, varied and useful."

She laughed lightly at this and he glanced up at her awkwardly as he said,

"Before, when you came to my lab-"

"And found it barred by a hot potato-"

He laughed a little at this too, "Quite...You said you wanted to tell me what happened...Why?"

"I thought you would want to know...And I know that as the main feed to the great lab grapevine most other people who wanted to know my side soon would too..."

"I wouldn't gossip about your private life Sara...I would rather like to keep my testicles for what they're worth."

She smiled at this before answering, "I know...I'm not very good at this...I felt that I had to defend myself to you, to make you see my side. Most people in here knew what that was, even if I wasn't convinced that they would take it...I thought that you..."

"That I wore rose-tinted glasses when it came to Grissom and I would never be able to bring myself to be seen fraternising with the enemy team?"

She laughed awkwardly at this, "Something like that..."

"I used to feel that way about him...But I'm not completely blinded, they're tinted, not black-out lenses, I could see that he was making you unhappy, that would never be something I would accept from him, from anyone, not after the way he claimed to feel about you."

She sighed; somehow, talking to Hodges was far easier than she ever expected something that privately terrified her, "He did feel that way. We both did...People change."

"Yes, they do...I think that's one thing you learn on this job, people change, and they change quickly, something to make note of."

"I agree...And speaking of quick changes, I heard about your engagement, congratulations."

"Thank you..." he mumbled, uncomfortably,

"You don't sound too thrilled about that...What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. Elisabetta's wonderful, she is really, it's just..." he flushed and hesitated,

"Go ahead; I'm not in a position to be judging other people's relationships right now."

"I know, it's not that...I, I may have been doing a little judging of my own..."

"Cold feet? Because of what's happened between me and Gil?" she asked, softly,

"Yes." He said, blushing darker, "The two of you had known each other for years, you seemed so sure, so in love, so perfect for one another...I can't help thinking that if you can't make it, what chance do I have?"

"As much chance as anyone. You deserve to be happy, if she makes you happy then go for it. Given my way, Grissom and me would have been together and married before our first year together in Vegas and who knows what would have happened then...We loved each other, and we were perfect for each other, but people change...We let ourselves change, we let the world around us influence us more than each other and in the end...I barely even recognise him anymore. The choices we made shaped us and altered us and our relationship to a point that no-one would have recognised it...If she makes you happy, if it's your choice to be with her then you go for it. Seize it with both hands and don't let go...If Gil and I had made different choices we might still have had a chance. Make the right choices for you, regardless of what the people in here think, it's your life, and if your life is her then go live it."

"No-one else has really seen it that way...They think we're rushing in to this, that she doesn't really want me, she wants her Green Card..."

"Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, but that's what you have to decide. Maybe she just wants a Green Card and when she gets it, it won't work out. Or maybe she wants the funny, crazy, human being that she's found herself falling in love with and you'll end up with seven children in a house by the sea." She smiled softly at the childish grin on his face "Maybe you're rushing in to this too quickly, for whatever reason, but if it feels right, and it makes you happy, even if it's only for a limited time, then it's worth it..."

"Really? Even after everything that's been happening you would have still gone after Grissom?" he asked, without thinking.

"Yes. I don't regret what I've done Hodges, coming to Vegas, falling for him, marrying him...I don't like where we've ended up, but I wouldn't change any of that. Even if it was all of this for just one night, I would still have gone for it...Besides, in the words of Mark Twain, 'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.'." she said, with a sad smile, seeing the irony of her words.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all'..." he replied, also smiling sadly,

"Exactly." She said, standing and moving towards the door "Go for it..."

"Sara-"She turned, looking questioningly at him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

A/N: There you have it, I needed an escape from all of the angst, hope you enjoyed thanks for reading!


End file.
